google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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