I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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