if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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