I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
