I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
