you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
