Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
