i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
