Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
