The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
try to milk me bitch
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
