So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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