well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
