i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
