Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize