I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
