i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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