dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize