Me too!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
