The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
