he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
