I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
