Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This toilet bowl is my home.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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