He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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