i barfeds in our rink
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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