New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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