i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I will pee on everything he values.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
