LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Even my vagina gasped.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
