i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
