he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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