oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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