Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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