Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
