I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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