I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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