Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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