i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
