does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
