you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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