lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
