Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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