i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
