i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
do herpes really smell.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize