One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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