my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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