People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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