all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
