oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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