i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
