Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
