i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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