Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
