So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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