whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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