im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
