I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
