I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
