what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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